The Joys of Potty Training

              I am in the minority when it comes to potty training. Most mothers dread that inevitable stage when a child is no longer a baby and it’s time to do away with diapers. It is viewed with fear, anxiety, and frustration by many parents. I, however, love when it’s finally time to potty train! This is due mostly to the fact that I despise changing diapers. I think I could live an entire lifetime without changing so much as one poopy diaper and be perfectly fine.

When it came time for my daughter to potty train, I was thrilled. I saw it as a new beginning; one I looked forward to with excitement. I made her a “Potty Chart,” filled with lots of bright colors and stickers, which I proudly hung on the fridge. Each time she used her big girl potty she was rewarded with a few small candies, and a sticker for her chart.

Things in the bathroom department were running as smoothly as could be expected. Little E loved being a “big girl,” and took pride in each sticker she carefully placed on her chart. After the second week with no accidents, I decided it was official. E was potty trained! I gave myself a congratulatory pat on the back, grateful to have overcome that hurdle.

To some degree, I think I may have underestimated the intelligence of a toddler. My sweet little girl has figured out how to use her newfound skills to manipulate both her father and I into getting whatever she wants. Whenever we take her some place she would prefer not to go (like her pediatrician’s office, church, the grocery store, or anywhere she finds dull or boring,) she promptly announces she needs to use the bathroom. However, she doesn’t use such mature vernacular in doing so. Generally speaking, she informs us by yelling, (quite loudly, I might add) “I poop! I poop!” If we don’t respond immediately by whisking her into the nearest restroom, her yelling gets louder and louder, often reaching a fever pitch.

I have made the request several times that she say the word potty in place of poop, but to no avail. She has witnessed the embarrassment in our faces as she hollers about pooping, and understands that such embarrassment quickens our reaction time. Her mischievous grin creeps across her face right before she decides to ruin whatever calm existed in our social situation just prior.

In her most recent episode I saw my adorable, sweet little toddler morph into a scheming, manipulative woman. She was bored during our church service and wanted desperately to get out. She stood up on the pew, grasping the back of the bench with both hands and bellowed “I poop! I poop!” which prompted snickering and giggles from the parishioners behind us. Red-faced, I scooped her up and hurried out of the chapel. Which, of course, accomplished her goal quite efficiently.

Sneaky little girl. I am beginning to wonder if I wouldn’t prefer the poopy diapers after all….