A little over two years ago, Jason and I made the difficult decision for me to quit my job and stay home. I say it was a difficult decision, and I mean it. It was the most difficult choice I've ever had to make. I had originally planned on returning to work, but after bringing my sweet Emslee home I found the idea of leaving her with someone else absolutely heartbreaking. The person I had asked to watch her changed her mind, Emslee was extremely colicky/needy, and I felt so hopeless. All my life I had promised myself I wouldn't have a child for someone else to raise him/her.
Needless to say, the choice was made. We knew it meant that we would have to make some changes in our budget, and it wouldn't be easy. In hindsight, I never really expected it to be this hard.
Throughout the course of our 4 and a half married years, Jason's seemingly constant struggle with his health has led to several lost jobs, and months of inability to work. I have questioned our decision for me to be at home countless times. From the outside looking in, our choice may seem silly, unfounded, or downright stupid.
Jason tries to work full-time, attend school full-time, and keep up with all his responsibilities with church, family, and our house. Recently I have received some flack for expecting so much from him, and I have even been blamed for his continuing health problems. I have received the impression that my choice to stay home is the epitome of laziness and selfishness.
The decision for me to stay home was not based on an ulterior desire to sit on my couch, watch TV, and eat bon-bons. We carefully weighed the pros and the cons, and determined this was and is the best choice for our family. I would be more than happy to share these reasons with anyone that would like to know how we came to this conclusion.
What do I do all day?
For those who are not, have not met, or do not understand the SAHM (stay at home mom), let me just say I work harder now than I ever did at the dental office. The choice to be a SAHM was definitely not one that affords me excessive time for TV watching. My days are filled with a plethora of errands, activities, etc. It is very important to me that Emslee be engaged in learning activities, get time to play outside, and that we read books together. That is only a portion of my day. I cook, I clean, I sew, I craft, I babysit, I run Jason to doctor appointment after doctor appointment, and I also go to school. Easy? No. Worth it? Definitely.
For those naysayers that seem to be determined to believe that Jason's lifestyle is causing his heart problems, let me just make one point. Ever since the end of his most recent job, Jason has had more unplanned, emergency hospital visits than ever when he was working. Coincidence? I think not. Jason enjoys working, and I enjoy being home with my adorable little princess. I could defend my position and list reasons for hours. But the fact of the matter is, I will fight with everything I have in me to be a SAHM for as long as I possibly can.
Like it, love it, hate it; whatever you like. Just don't plan on our decision changing to appease other people's version of ideal. Besides, how many people can honestly say they LOVE their job, and that they are ecstatic to wake up and go to work every morning? I CAN!!
3 comments:
Amen Sista!!! I have fought for almost 14 yrs now with people and their all knowing opinions on SAHM. I just love how one sweet lil girl is all it took to make you come to the dark side ;) actually sweet Emee helped you see the light in my opinion. I never thought we would have so much in common, I appreciate you, and miss you like crazy. Can I just say I love you, you are an amazing mother/wife, and anyone who can't see that hasn't taken the time to get to know the REAL YOU!!!
Seriously people have said that to you?? How insensitive and rude.
If you have never been a stay at home mom, you just can't understand how demanding, exhausting, and rewarding it is. It is a 24/7 job (unlike 40 hour a week job).
You are where you are suppose to be, don't let anyone sway you from it!!
People are so funny...it's easy for the nelly negative naysayers to have an opinion, but my own experience has taught me that they are seldom the ones brave enough to follow their hearts and the Spirit. Maybe it's just their subconscious attempt to bury their own guilt that makes them so bold, who knows. In any event, I LOVE it that you have been able to be home with your daughter, and I LOVE it that as a mommy of one, you recognize what a gift that is. I don't know that I truly appreciated how blessed I was to be home with our kids until later on, so that says a lot about you and where your priorities lie. You're amazing!
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