The saga continues...

DISCLAIMER: if you do not enjoy or simply do not wish to hear me whine, moan, and complain DISCONTINUE reading immediately and navigate to a happier, more optimistic website.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
Today Jason experienced yet another setback in his journey to good physical health. It seems that after two years of assumed progression, he is again staring into the void of the unknown. We were informed today in not so many words that Jase is running out of options. The ablations that usually conquer the problem for everyone else simply haven't worked for him. (He has had 4.)
Because my blog is private, I feel I have the right to state my true feelings. Frankly, I'm angry. Why can't he just be allowed to live his life like a normal 28 year old? Why does he have to go through this? He didn't do anything wrong to deserve this infernal heart condition.
He has very capable, confident doctors. Why can't anyone permanently remedy the problem? He already has so much to deal with. He's blind for heaven's sake. Isn't that tribulation enough? He tries so hard to be a good husband, to provide for his family, all the while attending
school in order to better himself and secure his future. If the Lord is expecting him to learn something from all this nonsense, after 6 surgeries we're obviously missing something. Maybe He ought to try a different method of getting the lesson across?
I don't mean to sound ungrateful. When I talked to my mom on the phone earlier this evening, she was quick to remind me that it could always be worse. She gave the example of a family in her ward whose situation is a lot more dire than ours. They tried for years to conceive and
finally have the precious gift of a baby. But...their little one has some very serious heart defects, ones that have rendered their home uninhabitable for his little body. They are unable to bring him home, and due to all the time the dad was spending away from work to be with his son, he lost his job. On top of that, during a trip to the hospital the family car was totaled.
As usual, my mom is right. Comparatively speaking, what Jason is experiencing is slight. I would much rather deal with my burdens than those of that poor family.
If I had my very own Genie in a magic lamp, the only wish I would have is to allow me to shoulder this heavy load for Jason. Oh how I wish I could give him the ability to see a rainbow, to experience the beautiful colors of a blossoming spring, or to run and play with his
daughter without having to stop and catch his breath.
When is it going to be enough? How much adversity will he have to withstand before he has proven himself? He has been through so much already. He is a completely different person than he was five years ago. Just the other day he came across the transcript of the blessing he gave Emslee shortly after she was born. He read it and proceeded to ask me if, back when I first met him, I ever would have fathomed him even holding the priesthood, let alone standing in front of a packed chapel and conferring blessings on his child.
He is so strong. He sacrifices so much for our little family, and rarely complains. I absolutely, unequivocally, could not do what he does. He talks to his doctors about open heart surgery with such grace (not choking back tears like me.)
I know that in the end, he will be okay. He's a fighter. He has been promised that he will live a long life, and trust me, I am holding Heavenly Father to that promise. :)